Welcome to Ruben's World, where it's okay to be a perv congressman so long as you are heterosexual.
Just don't be two upstanding and loving gays hoping to get married.
The prospect of that has state Sen. Ruben Diaz Sr. at the forefront of the opposition as the state Senate comes within one vote of legalizing gay marriage.
"A slap in the face to millions of New Yorkers who support the moral, legal and traditional view of marriage as between man and woman," Diaz has declared.
At the same time, Diaz (D-Bronx) seems to think it's no big deal for a man who is married to a woman also to be a lying perv with any number of other women.
Take Rep. Anthony Weiner.
Sure, he sent an unbidden photo of his crotch to a young woman.
Sure, he lied about it.
Sure, he insulted reporters who dared to press him for forthright answers.
But, since Weiner (D-Queens, Brooklyn) is married to a woman and not a man, he gets Diaz's full sympathy and support.
Here is what Diaz had to say after Weiner made his self-pitying sexting confession:
"The Bible teaches us to take care of others and to help others when they are down. ... It is shameful to see how many of Congressman Weiner's supposed friends have abandoned him as the media makes a total mockery of him."
Note that last bit.
In Ruben's World, a heterosexual congressman who sends around photos of his weewee is not making a mockery of himself. It's the media's doing.
Also note the bit about the Bible.
In Ruben's World, the Good Book commands the faithful to help and take care of a perv but shun gays who seek only to live in a relationship sanctioned by the law as well as by love.
Sexting young women, so what?
Gay marriage, never!
Diaz cited his opposition to gay marriage as a pretext for joining three other state senators in hijacking the Legislature in 2009.
Of this quartet known as the Four Amigos, three have run afoul of the law.
First, Sen. Hiram Monserrate (D-Queens) was expelled from the Senate after he was convicted of abusing his girlfriend.
Then, Sen. Pedro Espada Jr. (D-Bronx) was voted from office after he was indicted for theft. As the charges only involved siphoning money from the Soundview Health Center and not gay marriage, Diaz held a rally supporting Espada.
"Keep politics out of Soundview!" Diaz cried.
A third Amigo, Sen. Carl Kruger (D-Brooklyn), was indicted for taking some $1 million in bribes. Diaz held no rally for Kruger, perhaps because it came out that this particular Amigo was living with a man prosecutors termed "an intimate associate."
Kruger this week became one of another Four Amigos - the state senators who previously opposed legalizing gay marriage but now pledge to vote for it.
"What we're about to do is redefine what the American family is," Kruger said. "And that's a good thing. The world around us evolves."
The world around us is not to be confused with Ruben's World, where you can be a perv or a thief - so long as you don't want to marry somebody of your own gender.