Hire Of Local Moron Gives Nation Hope For Employment
PHOENIX—Citizens across the United States are expressing
renewed hopes for a nationwide economic recovery following news that
local resident and complete moron Ron Freizczky has found work, sources
confirmed Monday. “They hired that guy…as a consultant?” Arizona man Bob
Gunderbladt said of the 27-year-old dullard, remarking that if a dumb
shit like that can get a decent job, anyone can. “The man can’t find his
ass with both hands, but—wow, I guess things are really looking up.
This country is finally starting to feel like American again.” Reached
for comment, leading economists agreed that if more goddamn idiots like
Freizczky get jobs that come with financial responsibility, conditions
will indeed return to where they were just before the Great Recession.
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