January 23, 2014
PYONGYANG (The Borowitz Report) — North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un announced on state television today that he believes the pop star Justin Bieber is “just a few arrests away” from visiting North Korea as his friend.
“Justin, if you are watching right now, this is my message to you,” Kim said. “I stand ready and willing to be your B.F.F.”
The mercurial Kim said that he would seek Mr. Bieber’s aid in boosting North Korea’s slumping pop-music industry, which has failed to generate any hits comparable to South Korea’s “Gangnam Style.”
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Credit: Miami-Dade Corrections & Rehabilitation Department.
The mercurial Kim said that he would seek Mr. Bieber’s aid in boosting North Korea’s slumping pop-music industry, which has failed to generate any hits comparable to South Korea’s “Gangnam Style.”
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Credit: Miami-Dade Corrections & Rehabilitation Department.
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