Donald Trump. (photo: Christopher Gregory/Getty)
17 June 15
The
article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New
York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column,
"The Borowitz Report."
spokesman for ISIS said on Tuesday that its leaders were “genuinely
confused” by the abundant hotel analogies in Presidential candidate
Donald Trump’s announcement speech, acknowledging that they were having a
difficult time understanding how his colorful anecdotes about running a
hotel empire translated into a strategy to defeat the terror group.
In a prepared statement, the ISIS spokesman said that
Trump’s pronouncements about such hotel-industry concerns as
air-conditioning and renting the proper-sized ballroom were creating
confusion within ISIS, as the group’s leaders struggled to determine how
any of the examples applied to them.
“We’re having a very hard time making sense of the
speech,” the ISIS spokesman said. “He talked about defeating us, but it
seemed like what he was saying was pretty specific to hotels.”
Minutes after the statement was released, Trump
responded that the fact that he had confused ISIS “means I’m already
winning the war against it.”
“In every one of my hotels, you’ve got elevators,” Trump said. “Some of them go up, some of them go down. ISIS is going down.”
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