GOP Aide Regrets That Attack on Obama Daughters Overshadowed Insults About Their Parents

President Obama and his daughters. (photo: Jacquelyn Martin/AP)

By Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker

01 December 14

 

The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, "The Borowitz Report."

epublican congressional aide Elizabeth Lauten said on Sunday morning that she “deeply regretted” her attack on Sasha and Malia Obama because it “completely overshadowed the vicious insults I hurled at their parents.”

Appearing on Fox News, Lauten said, “If I had to do it over again, I’d leave the girls out of it so that the horrible things I said about their parents would have had a chance to shine through. I’m kicking myself about that.”

Saying that she had “learned my lesson” from the incident, she added, “I put a lot of work into crafting malicious insults about Barack and Michelle Obama, and those insults have largely been ignored. That’s the real tragedy here.”

Visibly emotional, Lauten said that having her attacks on the First Couple be overlooked “has been a source of great personal suffering for me,” but added, “I refuse to call myself a victim.”

“If what I’ve gone through helps others to do a better job of vilifying the President and the First Lady, it will all have been worth it,” she said.

         FEAST and FAMINE 

                 Thanksgiving November 2014 

Native American resistance leader Metacomet

Here's a thought: This Thanksgiving, you might want to give thanks that you weren't/aren't a victim of the white rampage through the Americas that began in the 15th century and resulted in the vast torture, death and exploitation of the indigenous peoples.

 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                           By Rafael Martínez Alequín

As we approach Thanksgiving 2014,  Your Free Press takes this opportunity to wish all its readers a happy Thanksgiving. It is a cliché, but true nonetheless, that our attention is too much diverted by turkey and mythology when it should be focused on gratitude It is human to react with thanks when life goes well, just as it is natural to curse one's fate when tribulation strikes. 

Godly men and women turn into atheist, at least temporarily, after watching thousands of children starve. Lottery winners and late-inning home-run hitters attribute their good luck to the personal intervention of the "Good Lord." 

It is easy to focus on what we lack, especially in these days of lowered expectations. We don't have, and probably never will have, the prosperity that seems to be our parents' and our own birthright back in the 1950s and '60s. It takes two incomes to buy what one use to provide. Even so, we live as only a very small percentage of the human race has ever been privileged to live. Royalty has gotten by as paupers by comparison. Yet, most of humanity does not live in such plenty. Million in this country and elsewhere do not have enough to eat. Others live under daily threat of death from their governments or from the forces of a foreign government because of  the political opinions they hold or are suspected of holding.

Some here in America do not suffer these deprivations. Although we now know, all of us are under surveillance. Also, we would be naive if we didn't recognize that all too many of us are ill-nourished or  subject to racial and political harassment, and worse. Across this country, hundreds of thousands are homeless, thanks to the policies of both local and federal governments.  Surely we ought to give some  thought to the ill-housed and homeless, to the hungry and the  brutalized, even those of us who can reflect on our own good luck. What joy can there be that some few have prosperity if oneself or a neighbor down the block, or in Brooklyn or in Haiti or in Central and South America or Afghanistan, Bangladesh, West Africa with the Ebola virus killing thousands of people, or Guantanamo, is deprived of the basic necessities or tortured for her or his political beliefs?

We can turn away from all of this, just as we eventually must turn away from the television when one too many emaciated Africans or mutilated Mexicans have been put before us. Portraits of happy Pilgrims sitting down to dinner with their happy Indian brothers and sisters seem more appropriate to the season. How much guilt can we expected to bear? Is it our fault we were born into a dominant culture? Must we always be reflecting on the sins of our ancestors and elected officials?
 

Of course, the answer is no. Life would not be bearable if we had to wear mental hairshirts all the time. Life is to be lived, enjoyed, reveled in. This is a lesson we can learn from the saints, both religious and secular: Those who do the most good seem to enjoy themselves the most. Enjoy not just the virtue they practice but all the other good things of life—food, love, intellect, companionship—the entire range of possibility open to human experience. They show us that we have nothing to fear from our own compassion. It does not diminish but enlarges our life. How much greater our joy could be, then, if on Thanksgiving Day, or any other time, we can say that we have tasted the full of life, the joys of our own mind and flesh as well as the happiness and pain of others. That, surely, would be something to be thankful for.

SNL Skit Updating ‘Schoolhouse Rock’ Is Hilarious, Totally Wrong

by Judd Legum  Posted on November 23, 2014 at 3:44 pm Updated: November 23, 2014 at 7:14 pm

"SNL Skit Updating ‘Schoolhouse Rock’ Is Hilarious, Totally Wrong"

 

The opening sketch of this week’s Saturday Night Live is an update of the famous ‘Schoolhouse Rock’ song explaining how a bill becomes a law. The sketch, which is a send up of Obama’s recent executive action on immigration, is very well done in many ways. It captures the ethos of the original cartoon and Jay Pharoah’s Obama impersonation keeps getting better. It features performances from two of the strongest members of this year’s cast, Bobby Moynihan and Kenan Thompson. As comedy, it works. It’s funny.

As political commentary, however, it couldn’t be more wrong about how today’s Congress works, particularly as it relates to immigration reform. Let’s review:

“BILL: Well first I go to the House, and they vote on me. But then I need from the Senate a majority.

Actually, the Senate passed a bipartisan comprehensive immigration bill in June 2013. The House has spent the last 17 months refusing to consider or vote on the Senate bill or any other substantial legislation on immigration reform.

 CREDIT: Youtube

 “BILL: And if I pass the legislative test, then I wind up on the President’s desk… BOY: President Obama what’s the big idea? That bill was trying to become a law.”

CREDIT: Youtube

In the sketch, once the bill reaches Obama’s desk, he pushes the bill down the steps. But this is the opposite of what actually happened. Obama was desperate to see an immigration bill — of virtually any type — cross his desk. In May 2013, he reached a tentative deal with a bipartisan group of House lawmakers, which would have been substantially more conservative than the Senate bill. It was ultimately rejected by Republican House leadership.

“BILL: Don’t you have to go through Congress at some point? EXECUTIVE ORDER: Oh that’s adorable, you still think that’s how government works.”

CREDIT: Youtube

The implication here is that presidents before Obama didn’t use executive action for major policy areas. In fact, George H.W. Bush and Ronald Reagan both used executive orders to protect undocumented immigrants. In 1989, Bush’s order protected about 40% of the undocumented population, roughly the same percentage as Obama’s order.

“BILL: Look at the midterm elections, people clearly don’t want this.”

CREDIT: Youtube

Actually, the majority of people who voted in the midterms said the opposite. According to a national election poll, “57 percent of midterm voters say most illegal immigrants working in the United States should be offered a chance to apply for legal status.” Less than 40% favored deportation, which the president’s order protects some undocumented immigrants against.
Of course, as a parody, the SNL skit isn’t required to be fully fact checked. But that’s not how it’s being treated in the media or among politicians. BuzzFeed’s article on the sketch is entitled: “This “Schoolhouse Rock” Sketch On “SNL” Shows Just How Messed Up Our Government Is.” And Ted Cruz is already citing it in television appearances.

Don Pedro Albizu Campos habla sobre la independencia de Puerto Rico

Mi Puerto Rico the Truth History

THE LEGEND of EL YUNQUE in PUERTO RICO

Her Family Valued

By GINIA BELLAFANTE

Can the public accept that a beleaguered public figure might in reality resign for her family?


On Wednesday, after the announcement and a news conference in which the mayor called the news media’s fixation “repulsive,” The Post kept at it, reminding readers that it had spent at least part of the summer fruitlessly pursuing rumors that Mr. Sharpton was the biological father of Ms. Noerdlinger’s son.

Republicans Accuse Obama of Treating Immigrants Like Humans

(photo: file)

By Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker

21 November 14

The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, "The Borowitz Report."

n a sharp Republican rebuke to President Obama’s proposed actions on immigration, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell accused the President, on Thursday night, of “flagrantly treating immigrants like human beings, in clear defiance of the wishes of Congress.”

McConnell was brutal in his assessment of the President’s speech on immigration, blasting him for “eliminating the fear of deportation, which is the great engine of the American economy.”

“Fear is what keeps immigrants working so hard and so fast and so cheap,” McConnell said. “Remove the fear of deportation, and what will immigrants become? Lazy Americans.”

In a dire warning to the President, McConnell said, “If Mr. Obama thinks that, with the stroke of a pen, he can destroy the work ethic of millions of terrified immigrants, he’s in for the fight of his life.”

He added that Obama’s comments about deporting felons were “deeply offensive” to political donors.

Top News

Obama, Daring Congress, Acts to Overhaul Immigration

By MICHAEL D. SHEAR

President Obama displayed years of frustration with congressional gridlock as he asserted the powers of the Oval Office to reshape the nation’s immigration system.

2021 Comments

Some Republicans Fear Alienating Hispanic Voters

By JACKIE CALMES

Republicans say their party has the greater challenge — as the White House is betting — in framing their opposition in a way that does not antagonize Latinos and other minority groups.

In 1986, Ronald Reagan signed the so-called “amnesty” law passed by Congress that granted legal status to three million undocumented immigrants. Credit Ron Edmunds/Associated Press

Action Has Precedent, but May Also Set One

By JULIE HIRSCHFELD DAVIS

The president’s use of executive powers to confer a quasi-legal status on millions of immigrants is broader than similar initiatives by some Republican presidents.

Related Coverage

• As Obama Makes Pledge, Immigrants Watch and Wait

• The Upshot: Hispanic Voters and the G.O.P.’s Path to 2016

• Video: Obama’s Immigration Address

  

  Immigration Debate

   

New York Today: Plastic Bag Talk

By ANNIE CORREAL

Thursday: Weighing in on a 10-cent plastic bag fee, a warmer day, and a silent performance group.

Related Coverage

• For Obama, Executive Order on Immigration Would Be a Turnabout

• News Analysis: Plan Could Grant Papers to Millions, at Least for Now

Ray Jose, 24, a Filipino whose parents brought him to this country when he was 9, and his father, Ramon Jose. Credit Jabin Botsford/The New York Times

A Reprieve That May Not Extend to Parents

By JULIA PRESTON 10:20 AM ET

Parents of youths already granted a reprieve under a deferred action program could be excluded from the executive order planned by President Obama.

For One Staten Island Campaign, a Special Prosecutor Instead of an Auditor

By JIM DWYER

Criminal charges are being brought over expenditures and filings that are routinely corrected or penalized through audits by the Campaign Finance Board.

The case would be sublimely weird even without the participation of the special prosecutor, Roger Bennet Adler, a past president of the Brooklyn Bar Association. A judge found that in an earlier stint as a special prosecutor, in a different election law case, Mr. Adler had brought in slanted witnesses and permitted hearsay only when it hurt the defendant. He also, the judge ruled, tried to use a witness’s silence against him.

“The cumulative weight of the errors and improprieties cannot be ignored,” the judge, Gloria Goldstein, wrote in dismissing the charges against Porfirio Placencia, who had been accused of filing a false instrument.

De Blasio’s Approval Rating Wanes, but Is Still Solid, Quinnipiac Poll Finds

By MATT FLEGENHEIMER 5:21 PM ET

Mayor Bill de Blasio received the support of 49 percent of New Yorkers, with a sharp racial divide over his performance.

• Quinnipiac University Poll Results About de Blasio

Latinos abandoning de Blasio over public appointments

By Yoav Gonen

November 17, 2014 | 3:56pm

Modal Trigger

Activist Lucky Rivera speaks at a rally to protest what the Hispanic community considers to be unfair levels of representation and appointments in New York City. Photo: David McGlynn

Chanting, “One-term mayor! One-term mayor!” nearly 100 Latino leaders converged on City Hall Monday to demand that Mayor de Blasio appoint more Hispanics to his administration.
Calling itself the Campaign for Fair Latino Representation, the coalition slammed the mayor for naming Hispanics to just 11 percent of his public appointments, even though they make up 29 percent of the city’s population.

‘We’re not garbage … so don’t treat us like garbage.’
 - Lucky Rivera

“We’re not garbage . . . so don’t treat us like garbage,” said activist Lucky Rivera, of Boricuas for a Positive Image. “If you [don’t] want to be a one-term mayor, you better do the right thing.”
The group blasted the lack of Hispanic policy makers and board members at city agencies and said just 26 of the mayor’s 229 public appointments have been Latino.
They also blasted the NYPD, saying it has only 18 Hispanics among its 166 deputy inspectors, six among its 82 chiefs and three among it 33 executive positions.
“If he doesn’t deal with this now, he’s going to have a real problem with his re-election when it comes to support from the Latino community,” said Angelo Falcon, president of the National Institute for Latino Policy, which conducted the review of appointments.
The mayor was elected last year with the support of 85 percent of Latinos in the general election.
City Hall countered that de Blasio increased the representation of Latinos among agency heads to 14 percent, from 9.3 percent in the Bloomberg administration.
The protesters said Latino representation in the administration has gone from 10.1 to 12.1 percent.

Modal Trigger

Boricuas for a Positive Image activist Lucky RiveraPhoto: David McGlynn

“We have been very clear in our intention to build an administration that is representative of all New Yorkers, and we are proud of the diverse team that we have built to date,” said City Hall spokeswoman Carmen Boon.
“There is always more we can do to increase diversity, and we won’t stop until we ensure that progress continues to be made.”
Advocates at Monday’s rally also criticized the mayor’s tardiness to last week’s Flight 587 memorial in Queens. The bulk of the 260 victims on the 2001 flight out of JFK Airport were Dominican.
“Unlike the mayor, we want to take a moment of silence. Unlike the mayor, we make it on time,” Anthony Miranda, chair of the National Latino Officers Association, said before a pause to honor them.
Group members also expressed disappointment with Latino elected officials for not joining the rally. The only elected official who showed was Councilwoman Inez Dickens (D-Harlem), who is black.

Embattled City Hall Aide Takes Leave of Absence

By MARC SANTORA 3:10 PM ET

Rachel Noerdlinger, the chief of staff to Chirlane McCray, said that after her son’s arrest, she needed to be with her family.
Photo

Rachel Noerdlinger is chief of staff to Chirlane McCray.  

Credit Richard Drew/Associated


“We’ve seen this – we saw this in the 1950s, we’ve seen this throughout the history of this country,” Mr. de Blasio said. “If someone wants to smear people, and use that for political purposes, there’s a pretty easy playbook for doing it. It’s repulsive, but it’s become quite common.”

Republicans Demand Return of Passive Obama

(photo: file)

By Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker

19 November 14

 

"The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, "The Borowitz Report."

ongressional Republicans on Friday expressed outrage at the new leadership style that President Obama has demonstrated in the aftermath of the midterm elections, and demanded a return of the “passive and unassertive Obama to which we have grown accustomed.”

In a joint statement, House Speaker John Boehner and his counterpart in the Senate, Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, accused Obama of “engaging in a flagrant display of leadership that we find deeply offensive.”

“For the past six years, we have enjoyed a President who has been conciliatory and acquiescent to the point of emasculation,” Boehner said. “We want that President back.”

McConnell threatened that if Obama does not return to his weak and ineffectual ways at once, “he will face the prospect of being a two-term President.”

At the White House, the President did not respond to the Republicans’ remarks, telling reporters that he planned to work through the weekend raising the minimum wage, granting amnesty to immigrants, and legalizing marijuana.

NYT Editorial: The F.C.C. Should Heed President Obama

Photo

Keeping the Internet free and open, without fast

 lanes for some and not for others, is being debated

 in Washington. 

  Credit Michael Bocchieri/Getty Images

Mr. Obama says the Federal Communications Commission should reclassify broadband Internet service as a telecommunications service, rather than the lightly regulated information service it is now. This would give the commission the authority to prevent broadband providers from slowing the delivery of some web content to favor content from companies that have paid a fee for faster delivery.

2. 

   Op-Ed | Enrique Krauze

   Mexico’s Barbarous Tragedy 

   The tide of criminal violence in Mexico must not only be contained; it must be stopped and pushed back. The citizens of Mexico, feeling deceived by all political parties and all politicians, have been roused to fury by the events in Iguala. They demand not merely a few arrests, but the detention of all those responsible from top to bottom. Above all, they demand that every possible step be taken to refute those who would say that the country is spiraling out of control or has become a virtual narco-state.

‘Evil, abnormal beast’: FBI’s ‘suicide note’ to Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. revealed 50 years later

The disturbing missive, written as if by an anonymous, disillusioned civil rights supporter, promises to reveal King as an adulterous fraud if he doesn't kill himself in 34 days. Previously released in redacted form, this unedited version shows the extent to which then-FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover would go to discredit the civil rights champion.

BY Sasha Goldstein

NEW YORK DAILY NEWS

Published: Thursday, November 13, 2014, 9:35 AM

Updated: Thursday, November 13, 2014, 11:02 AM

 

HORACE CORT/AP  

The disturbing note, later learned to have been written by the FBI, went to extreme lengths to discredit Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was called “an evil, abnormal beast” in an anonymous letter FBI agents sent the civil rights leader in 1964 in an effort to get him to commit suicide, a newly published, unredacted version of the note, shows.
The disturbing missive, which details intimate knowledge of King’s extramarital affairs, was sent in the days before he was to receive the Nobel Peace Prize and is written under the guise of a civil rights supporter angry with the movement’s leader.
A deadline of 34 days is given before King is outed as a womanizer, the missive, filled with grammatical errors, threatens.
“You are done. There is but one way out for you. You better take it before your filthy, abnormal, fraudulent self is bared to the nation,” the one-page letter, obtained by Yale professor Beverly Gage and printed in The New York Times, reads.

National Archives, College Park, Maryland The full letter, kept at the National Archives in the Maryland suburbs of Washington, D.C.

Long threatened by the rise of the powerful black minister, the efforts of former FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover to discredit King have since been revealed and shined a disturbing light on government overreach and misconduct during the Jim Crow era, Gage says of her research into a biography of the once-vaunted law enforcement head.
Though previously released in a heavily edited form, Gage found the original copy, free of redactions, among documents at the National Archives in College Park, Md.
King and Hoover had a strained and contentious relationship, evidenced by Hoover’s public claim that King was “the most notorious liar in the country.” And once the FBI, looking to discredit King and his relationship with a Communist sympathizer, began to bug his home and office, Hoover declared King “a tom cat with obsessive degenerate sexual urges” after hearing evidence of adultery.

AP Photo J. Edgar Hoover had a contentious relationship with the civil rights leader and, according to the letter, hoped King would kill himself.

“Lend your sexually psychotic ear to the enclosure,” the letter reads, referring to a tape recording of incidents of adultery.
The letter, written by FBI agent William Sullivan and eventually opened by King’s wife, Coretta Scott King, describes Kinds as a fraud participating in “immoral conduct lower than that of a beast.”
“King, look into your heart. You know you are a complete fraud and a great liability to all of us Negroes,” it reads.

'There is but one way out for you. You better take it': Threatening FBI letter urging civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr. to kill himself REVEALED — 50 years later

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was called “an evil, abnormal beast” in an anonymous letter FBI agents sent the civil rights leader in 1964 in an effort to get him to commit suicide, a newly published, unredacted version of the note, shows.