Chief Justice Roy Moore of Alabama, who ordered defiance of a same-sex marriage ruling, once fought to keep a Ten Commandments marker in a judicial building. (photo: Jeff Haller/NYT)
10 February 15
The
article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New
York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column,
"The Borowitz Report." 
n
Monday, the state of Alabama lost yet another fight to remain in the
eighteenth century, extending a losing streak that dates back to the
nineteenth century.
Alabama, whose first attempt to remain in the
eighteenth century took place between 1861 and 1865, has never shown
signs of giving up the fight, even after being dealt a string of
stunning defeats in the nineteen-fifties and nineteen-sixties.
According to historians, Monday’s loss brings the number of failed attempts by Alabama to more than four thousand.
But even with this latest defeat, some of the state’s
residents, such as Chief Justice Roy Moore, of the Alabama Supreme
Court, remained resolute in their fight to return to a time before
electricity and indoor plumbing.
“The United States Supreme Court has decided that it
is the twenty-first century,” Moore said on Monday. “I say, ‘Not in
Alabama, it isn’t.’ ”
I admit the Roman Emperors were mostly slime, but we must to back to the most tyrannical imperialists of the Iron Age, like the Pharaohs and tyrants of Assyria to plumb the corrupt moral depths of 21st century Alabama. PS: Don't blame the "hillbillies" since most of them--including northern Alabama, which seceded from the Confederacy, don 'cha love it?--weren't racist in the 19th century, fought for the Union Army, and had more common sense than modern Alabamans.