United States Supreme Court. (photo: Roger L. Wollenberg/Bloomberg/Getty)
26 June 15
The
article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New
York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column,
"The Borowitz Report." 
he
Supreme Court’s decision to preserve Obamacare subsidies has drawn
sharp rebukes from Republican Presidential hopefuls, who warn that the
victory for health care might eventually pave the way for similar
advances in education and the environment.
“The Supreme Court has decided, apparently, that every
American should have access to quality health care,” said Senator Ted
Cruz (R-Texas). “What if it decided to say the same thing about
education? I don’t mean to be an alarmist but, after today, I believe
that anything is possible.”
Senator Rand Paul (R-Kentucky) also blasted the Court,
telling reporters that “a government that protects health care is one
small, dangerous step away from protecting the environment.”
“The nightmare that I have long feared is now suddenly
upon us,” Paul said. “Mark my words, we are on a slippery slope toward
clean air and water.”
On the campaign trail in Iowa, the former Arkansas
governor Mike Huckabee raised another doomsday scenario, telling his
audience, “If the Court thinks people should be allowed to see a doctor
when they want, they probably also think that people should be able to
marry anyone they want. My friends, that is not what God intended when
He created America.”
Speaking from New York, candidate Donald Trump offered
his own scathing critique of the Supreme Court. “You look at them in
their robes, and you say, ‘Those robes look freaking cheap,’ ” he said.
“When I’m President, we’re getting more expensive robes.”
Comments